Don’t Look Back – Navigating the Single Life

Don’t look back at what might have been or what you thought should’ve happened with that person. Tempting as it can be, refuse to look back and reminisce on a connection that never worked out in the past. Let it go. If a genuine relationship were in order, it would’ve already happened. So, if you tried reconnecting with someone who rejected you in the past, don’t look back, do yourself and favor, and thank God for blessing the rejection.

If you rejected them, it happened for a reason, so there is no need to revisit it. Move forward and hold on to God as He moves you to your purpose and destination for love. Make trusting God a practice from this day ahead. It’s one thing if the timing was off with you and that individual, but that’s not the dilemma in most instances. For whatever reason, that desired relationship didn’t flourish, and one of you wanted it to. It isn’t for you.

When I travel through the pages of the Bible, when love connections sparked, love developed and progressed. Nonetheless, don’t get ensnared in the world’s trappings and how they view relationships, their formula is proven to fail even when it looks like a win. Anything less than a biblical worldview and a God-ordained marriage will leave you distressed and broken over a romance God never promised you.

If you’re jumping into the Navigating the Single Life series, I encourage you to check out these related reads for connecting with this post:

 

Related Reads:

Preparing for Courtship

Waiting on God

Married to Christ

 

Biblical Examples of Love Connection

I am unaware of the beginning details of every relationship in the Bible, but I gather they didn’t date around and test drive the car (as some say) to see if they were a perfect match. There was no double dipping, revisiting the past, and running back to an old flame. We didn’t read about them running backward as romance novels portray. If there was an interest, they worked to obtain love and marriage.

 

• Isaac loved Rebecca and set forth the promises of God to birth a nation with her.
• Jacob loved Rachel and didn’t stop working for her until he secured his life’s love and God’s purpose through their sons.
• Ruth took Naomi’s advice and positioned herself before Boaz in his field. Boaz had mutual interest and moved ahead in making Ruth his wife.

 

Yes, we learn about Hosea going back for Gomer multiple times. Moreover, Gomer was also his wife, and God used Hosea’s story to show God’s love for Israel. Context is everything, so when you read the Word of God, do so with this in mind.

I also want to touch on the story of Lot’s wife. Although the context is not a match, the application and principle can take you far in your journey of singleness.

 

Speaking of context, I created this Soul Check-up to help you overall in day-to-day life and while Navigating the Single Life. Download your Soul Check-Up now!

 

She is commanded, “don’t look back”

When the two angels arrived at Sodom to help Lot and his family escape Sodom’s and Gomorrah’s destruction, there was no time for play. The blow of the disaster was upon them, and they had to act quickly to avoid being swept away. (Genesis 19:1,15-16)

 

Genesis 19:17 NIV says, As soon as they had bought them out, one of them said, “Flee for your lives! Don’t look back, and don’t stop anywhere in the plain! Flee to the mountains or you will be swept away.

 

During the rush, Lot’s family hurried ahead, and God destroyed the cities by raining down burning sulfur. He overthrew the plain, including everyone in them. Nonetheless, Lot’s wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt. (Genesis 19:26)

You might say all she did was look back.

But, looking back demonstrated a lack of faith and hesitancy to let go. In my imagination, she loved those places and painfully and sorrowfully witnessed the devastation. Stubbornness to obey God is a form of disobedience. This brief act was enough for her to lose her life, thus forfeiting the joy of salvation and witnessing the hand of God in her future.

Naturally, you’d want to look back because it’s something you never witnessed, but that’s why the command came not to turn around.

Two daughters had already lost their fiancés. Now they lost their mom, and Lot lost his wife.

Her example of holding on failed to glorify God and led her widow Lot and daughters into sin.

 

Looking Back Caused Greater Damage

Lot’s wife looking back, caused generations of turmoil and destruction. The girls wanted to preserve their bloodline and came up with a plan. Lot had no self-control or leadership in this situation and allowed himself to be manipulated into drunkenness by his daughters. The consequences of his sexual immorality fathered two kids and grandkids.

Sadly, the girls birthed Moab, the father of the Moabites, and Ben-Ammi, the father of the Ammonites. Their tribes were a stench to the Israelites from generation to generation.

 

Zondervan’s NIV study notes says, The sons born to Lot’s daughters were the ancestors of the Moabites and Ammonites (Deut 2:9,19), two nations that were to become bitter enemies of Abraham’s descendants. (Gen 19:36-38)

 

Don’t Do It

I don’t want you to waste your time or set yourself back while you’re waiting on God for the love of your life. Satan wants to sift you like wheat, but Jesus is praying for you (Luke 22:31).

Will you trust God and allow Him to do something new in your life? He can deliver you from your past.

What you attempted before didn’t work, but thankfully God is faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness if we confess them. (1 John 1:9)

Now that you are still standing, Soulful—move out of God’s way and don’t look back!

Cut your losses now and thank God for new mercies. Stop quenching the work the Holy Spirit wants to do in your life for God’s glory. God establishes marriage, and He wants it to succeed, but the only way it will is if you cooperate with Him as He puts the pieces together.

I’ll repeat this—If it was meant for things to work with those people you connected with in the past, it would have.

 

 PIN ME:

Stop Snooping Around

When we do too much snooping and trying to make something happen on our timetable, it always causes much pain and heartache. I know women who aren’t even happily married because they pushed and moved the relationship ahead.

A couple of weeks ago, I stumbled on a guy’s Instagram profile that I once went out with a few years back. He used to put Bible verses and encouraging quotes on his profile. I stopped following him for over a year and a half because God impressed on my heart to stop lingering around this dead place.

God was right!

He looked to have met someone shortly after the time God impressed on my heart to move away from this dead place. Now he’s happily engaged. If I had stayed around, I would have messed up what God wanted to do in his life (possibly distracting him) and what God desired to do in mine.

There are no ill feelings because I believe in God’s Word. I trust Him even more as I mature in Him. God’s love and timing for my life are perfect. It took me a long time to arrive at this place, but God’s sanctifying hand is renewing me from glory to glory daily.

 

Backward has no future

I knew he and I had no future, although we both were Christians and shared a desire to obey God. He’s divorced with more children than I preferred. Secondly, we were not equally yoked when it comes to the deep things of God, and the talks and texts we shared were extremely surface level when we did connect. I did see him as a good man and father.

We were not mutually interested in each other where it counts, but we love God.

You may have experienced something similar with someone. Outwardly you checked most of the boxes, but there was no genuine connection or spark spiritually.

 

Nothing or Nobody is Worth Your Sanctification

When God removes you from a person, move forward because He’s trying to keep you on track for His purpose. I went back to my ex-husband four years after our divorce because he wanted to reconnect with me. I thought I was strong enough to keep God first when we reconnected, and for a while, it appeared as if I was winning with my Godly influence.

Unfortunately, that situation and going back caused me to sin, lose focus, and get tripped up thinking that going back was God wanting us to remarry. My discernment was off. Women are more vulnerable to being manipulated and going the way of fake love, heresy, and false doctrine. We want to do right in God’s eyes, but sometimes our emotional radar sends us off the beaten path.

It’s embarrassing to share my shortcomings, but I believe that all I went through can also help prevent other children of God from making the same bad decisions and falling headfirst into sin, all for the sake of love.

 

God’s Love

We all want to be loved. If you desire love, invest in learning God’s Word and character. God’s love is the most significant and highest love we can ever experience. The love of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit is unmatched. Words can’t describe the euphoria you get from intimacy with God when the Spirit touches deep within your soul. When I’m reading His Word, He impresses upon me in unexpected ways that bring me to tears and more closeness with Him.

When you get the God relationship right with the lover of your soul, it will change your life.

So, don’t look back like Lot’s wife. Salvation came, but she disobeyed. She looked back to take in everything she was saying goodbye to, which cost her everything. She rejected God’s mercy and a new beginning.

Trust that God is freeing you by moving you ahead.

Our God is sovereign and perfect; nothing misses Him. When you think He does not understand your loneliness or desire for marriage, remember the life of Jesus. Jesus can identify with all we go through.

 

Will You Look Back? Conclusion

Make it your obligation to trust God just like the father of faith—Abraham. He believed God and placed his hope in His Word to bring forth the promised child—Isaac. God’s Word will NEVER return void.

 

Romans 4:18-19 NIV Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, “so shall your offspring be.” Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead—since he was about a hundred years old—and Sarah’s womb was also dead.

 

We believe God and trust in the finished work of Christ. We are children of faith. Walk by faith and not by sight; doing so would mean you don’t look back, but look ahead to what’s unseen. Place your prayers for connecting with the love of your life in God’s hands today.

 

Soul Actions:

Remove all phone numbers, texts, and emails out of your phone from old flames

Delete/unfriend old loves from your social media accounts (where permissible)

Learn new scriptures to grow closer to God by meditating on the goodness and promises of God

Throw away old clothing, gifts, and memorabilia from old relationships

Cover your future spouse in prayer daily

Ask God to remove anyone and anything that is hindering your sanctification

Sincerely ask God to show you any areas that may be delaying you from meeting your spouse

 

Thank you for reading this post. I hope it blessed you, and if it has, please be so generous as to share it with three people.