Attracting Adam – Navigating the Single Life

Attracting Adam—what does that mean? The woman is created for man as Eve was made for Adam (1 Cor 11:19). According to God in Genesis 2:18, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Many single women desire marriage, but instead of attracting Adam, the opposite is happening.

I pulled this article from my vault to help single Christian women who desire marriage to prepare for the spouse they want. To understand attracting Adam, you’ll first want to start with Married to Christ and Marriage Steps and Preps on YouTube.

(Shannon Taylor of Atlanta-based Purely Loved Ministries authored this post in 2014 during a Married and Singles series I published years back). Here’s her take on attracting Adam.

 

Soul Check-Up

Also, grab you a copy of the Soul Check-up. It will help you regularly keep your thoughts in perspective, grow spiritually, and motivate you to organize and keep your environment intact for tremendous success in Christian Living.

Lost and Looking

I was constantly searching for a man or male companionship in my single days because I couldn’t bear being alone. Therefore, I had a different guy for every aspect of my life. One was just a friend that I could hang out with; another served my emotional needs, and finally, a guy who took care of my physical needs. Neither had the total package based on what I thought I needed or wanted in a man, so the combination of all three “fed” my wounded soul during those times.

Notice, neither of the guys fed me spiritually because I didn’t consider my spiritual needs.

God was just God—the One I called on when I’d gotten myself into a mess. He held no major significance in the decisions I made. But, when I stopped running from God, my life entirely changed once I finally submitted!

 

Sweet Surrender

During my single days, I didn’t know God, so I did what I believed every other single woman did—I went out to find myself a man.

God’s Word never says a woman has to go out and get a man. According to Genesis 2:22, it’s the polar opposite.

 

Genesis 2:22 says,   Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

 

The Word tells us that God brought Eve to Adam, correct? Therefore, Eve didn’t have to go and look for Adam. Unfortunately, most Christian women roll with the crowd thinking that for a man to want them, they must look, dress and behave in a way that’s contrary to God’s Word. So not true!

 

Related Navigating the Single Life Reads:

Married to Christ

Waiting on God

Decision Making & Financial Health 

Respect not Lust

You want to attract the godliness in a man—not just lust.

Lust causes your brother to sin. The wrong attraction eventually dies, and believe it or not, it’s not a man’s most profound need. A man’s deepest need from his woman is respect!

Yes, respect.

God tells us in His Word that the wife is to respect her husband (Ephesians 5:33). What you give off is what you will attract. Being “fine” or “sexy” externally is not enough to get and keep a man on the outside. Why? Because this is and was not how God intended relationships to be. Yes, taking care of our body is very important because our body is the temple of the Lord, but using it to get what we want is not why our bodies are designed.

Let’s go back to Genesis, where Eve was created and presented to Adam in 2:22-23. First, God took Adam’s rib—a good part of him. From that rib, God made a woman for Adam.

 

Genesis 1:31 says, God saw all that he had made, and it was very good…

 

God used a rib, the bone that’s close to a man’s most vital organs, his most important organs to his life and being, and from that essential part of him came Eve.

You—the custom-made rib, was taken from your Adam by whom? God!

When God finishes forming, shaping, and creating you, God will present you to your Adam. However, assuming you will step back, submit, and allow Him to do His work in you.

 

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Attracting Adam the Challenging Part

I understand that being single can be challenging, but I will tell you from experience now is the time to deal with you!

Your season of singleness is the best time to deal with your attitude, brokenness, insecurities, and past.

Please don’t go into a new relationship, and dare not go into a marriage with all your baggage. Why? Because it will put unnecessary strain on your human husband, who’s just a man.

You can’t bring along all of the bags and issues then expect him to fix your life, make you feel a certain way, and take away the pain from your past. The only One who can do that is God!

Now, back to Genesis 2:23, when God presented Eve to Adam, what was Adam’s reaction?

He immediately accepted her as his wife. He immediately and readily took EVE as God had formed and created her. Adam didn’t ask God to change her in any way. God didn’t ask for Adam’s opinion or preferences (he was asleep), but God knew who Adam was and what Adam needed. Adam was formed, shaped, and created by God and had God’s breath breathed into him.

God’s perfect matching system is another reason you, as a single lady, must step back and let God be God. Allow Him to finish working on and in your Adam.

 

Attracting Adam – Be Patient

If you’re trying to get a man who does not have the breath or Word of God in him, he won’t recognize you for who you are and wouldn’t know what to do with you. He’ll only respond to you lustfully and immaturely!

Also, notice that Adam didn’t ask to try Eve out or live together first to make sure they were a perfect match sexually! Adam trusted that Eve was all that he needed because Adam trusted God. You need a man who trusts God and allows God’s leadership in his life.

Men crave respect, and not being respected is one of their greatest fears. I didn’t know this when I first got married, which caused issues in our marriage. Once I stopped trying to be in charge and submitted myself to God (submitting and being the wife God called me to be according to His Word), my hubby began to respond differently.

I got what I needed from him, and he and I began to flow. The flow improved as we learned God’s roles for a husband and wife. Men respond to us visually, yes, but once the lust dies—and it will, then what happens?

So, while you’re single, please stop trying to be God and submit all things to Him—especially the job of trying to find a man. Attracting Adam is not manipulation, but using Godly principles to be who God has called you to be. Use this precious time you have to work on deepening your relationship with God; trust me, you will most definitely need Him when you’re married!

 

Soul Actions:

Know who you are in Christ.

Find out what His word says about you.

Submit to Christ first and foremost.

 

Be a wife now because, as we learned so far in this series, you are married to God through salvation, so allow God to be your husband. How will you submit to your husband if you can’t submit to God’s headship?

To learn more about Shannon’s ministry, please check it out here.